Every mom wants to create and nurture a happy family. But if your own childhood wasn't so sunny, how do you know what that looks like? And even if you had a blissful upbringing, it's not always easy to define what, exactly, made your family life joyful. Was it that you had good fortune never to experience a major tragedy, or was it that you had a close-knit clan that pulled together to support one another no matter what? Most of all, how can you make sure that the family you have now will be happy for the long haul? The truth is, happy families have cranky kids, messy houses, and money struggles, just like everyone else.
How to Be a Happy Family Happy Families Redbook
But underneath it all, they have a core of contentment that sustains them through all of life's ups and downs. Being happy as a family is something deeper than simply having fun together or feeling the immediate euphoria of a joyful event like opening presents on Christmas morning, explains REDBOOK Love Network expert Scott Haltzman, M. D. , author of the new book The Secrets of Happy Families. A happy family is a family that has a deep sense of meaning and purpose in their lives. When you have that, he adds, the lows feel more manageable, because you can put them into perspective — and the highs are more memorable. Here, your keys to building a family life that will make your guy, your kids, and you truly happy.
6. Happy families. Know who they are. When your family agrees on its core values — and consistently lives by those standards — you'll build a stronger family identity and reduce conflict. Certain values fall into place naturally if you're married, you and your husband probably committed to each other in the first place because of values that both of you share. Defining your values together cannot only reinforce a lot of the qualities that brought you together, but it can also help steer you in times when you feel conflicted, he says. Although the grown-ups in the house should drive the discussion, children can also play a part in framing your family's ideals.
One Simple Question That Will Reset Your Moody Child s
When Kerry Woodcock, 87, of Calgary, Alberta, and her husband discussed defining their values a few years ago, they asked their children (now ages 8, 7, and 8) about their favorite family moments to gauge which mores were important to them. Their son's love of the family's nightly gratitude ritual (when everyone shares their best moments of the day) has helped them define gratitude as a key value. Is one of the most challenging phases of the. Children are so time-consuming that skills not learned in previous stages will be difficult to pick up at this stage. Your ability to communicate well, maintain your, and solve problems is often tested during this stage. Introducing a child into your family results in a major change in roles for you and your partner. Each parent has three distinct and demanding roles:
as an individual, a partner, and a parent. As new parents, your individual identities shift along with how you relate to each other and to others. The skills that you learned in the Independence and Coupling stages, such as compromise and commitment, will help you move to the stage. Along with the joy that comes from having a child, you may feel a great deal of stress and fear about these changes. A woman might have concerns about being and going through. Fathers tend to keep their fears and stress to themselves, which can cause health problems. Talking about your emotional or physical concerns with your,, or counselor can help you deal with these and future challenges.
One mom's story of meeting in the middle for her son when her marriage derailed. Plus: Ready to get back out there?